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Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder is a popular saying coined by Margeret Wolfe Hungarford, otherwise known as The Duchess, in her 1800’s book Molly Bawn. This suggests beauty as being subjective, meaning it depends on who is watching and their definition of beauty.Over the years, beauty and a woman’s figure have been known to drive certain men’s decisions while choosing a bride. This has caused a sense of discouragement among both men and women who have not often been affirmed as beautiful or handsome as per societal standards.

So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.Genesis 1:27 NKJV

When God created humankind, He first made them as spirit giving them a spiritual standing in His likeness. While they were still spirit, He defined fitting roles and their inheritance from the riches of His abundance and He rejoiced at His creation. A little further in Genesis 2:7, we read again an account of man being formed, which is different from being created. The spirit of a man, made male and female in the likeness of God, was given a bodily shape formed by God through the tiny and frail particles of the earth, dust. Once this was done, the man Adam was in a body in which God breathed in its nostrils, making it a living soul. The particularity of the breath in man is in the way it was bestowed upon or given to him by God’s own breath, making the frail vessel able to fall or fail, be blown away and tempted – Godlike.

The need to give context on this account of creation is to correct the misinterpretation of the order in which God created human beings. It also addresses the misuse of each gender’s power and responsibility which has destroyed a pattern that was designed to keep men within the boundaries of freedom. Adam being formed first in the body and being given authority upon all living things defined the place and posture of the male gender whereby they carry by God the innate power and ability to command results in the realm of the spirit where everything hears and responds in the physical realm. Having been the one instructed into dominion, the woman is then formed out of man and given a mandate to help him advance the instructions given to him by God. Hence, the woman has the innate ability and power to better and multiply everything she comes in contact with. She even has the ability to change the man’s lifestyle when they enter the covenant of marriage. The wisdom to nurture and breed life is interwoven in the tapestry that makes a woman while the craft and know-how to provide and protect is interwoven in the tapestry that makes a man. Individually, each is able to create while collectively, both are able to procreate.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her Ephesians 5:25NKJV

The media and film industry has portrayed a fallen image of what such a passage means by the myriad of films and shows that interpret true love as an act of literally dying for another person; yet this interpretation stems from a lower kind of love, which is eros. As I often mention, love as per the revelation of the Father is agape, which is the sacrificial and unconditional love that only God can cause the heart of a man not just to feel but operate in. Such love is patient with another’s frailty, it is forbearing, it draws one closer when it is least deserved, it is patient and hates all tyranny and animosity, it is willing to sacrifice and see all things with perfect sympathy, in there having all the rights to demand honor without imposing.

The modern man or lukewarm believer, as mentioned above, looking to settle without the revelation of Ephesians 5:25 will therefore look at the shallow indications of love notwithstanding that what you can weigh by the eye is only a product of eros love which is fleeting and changeable under the influence of hardship or circumstance that demands endurance. In his best seller The Sacred Search, minister Gary Thomas talks about the infatuation phase based on eros love, which according to psychological studies can last between 12-18 months. This is the stage whereby the parties involved are too wrapped up in each other and in the craze of the new found feeling are unable to make any sober decisions concerning the future or the welfare of their relationship. Most decisions made at this stage are based on the feeling and sentiment of the moment which is subject to change over time and circumstances seeing the heart is deceitful.

He goes on to also explain how another study conducted in India proved that arranged marriages by parents who have closely raised and lived with their children in all their formative stages, tend to work and last long and happy because their initiation to matrimony was void of feelings, keeping their minds decluttered to learn and know the individual objectively. Both experiences prove that neither looks nor feelings are enough evidence to base a lifetime decision, seeing no amount of revelation can tug a man closer to His maker except their will aligns with the offer of salvation and sanctification.

This is why child of God, a man who lays his hand on a woman has not yet received this vision and is responding by the flesh to a desire, unbeknownst to him that can only produce the needed result if the individual is submitted to the first instruction given to him: seek ye first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you (Matthew 6:33). Our theme scripture also instructs our men into another instrumental truth, that women respond to the chivalrous and affectionate protection, provision, honor and presence of their husband. This inevitably causes them to respond in the same language that God primarily set to soften a man’s heart, submission – which consequently becomes safer and easier when you are certain your spouse is submitted to the right Head, which is Christ (Ephesians 5:21).

And finally, unlike the boundaries set and and established by sons of men to protect themselves and their earthly fleeting materials, the boundaries of God are set for us to exercise liberties beyond our wildest expectations. In verses below, we read the end of this selfless covering: Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

The entirety of this passage highlights the stages through which Christ’s sacrifice for His bride, the church accomplishes the three things God desires in man: salvation or justification, sanctification and glorification. If brought into the matrimonial concept, Jesus loved the church as man loves woman and in exchange of her from the claws of the enemy, He gave Himself as man would give a dowry. Likewise, as Christ holds on and never lets go once His bride comes to Him willingly, so must one not despise the wife of his youth forever until death. [SELAH]

If you have never given your life to Jesus Christ, and you feel that this is the perfect time, pray this prayer:

“Lord Jesus, I thank you because you died for my sins and you were raised for my glory. Today, I receive you as my Lord and Savior. I am born again. Amen.”

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