A popular saying goes ‘Behind every successful man is a woman’ but has stirred a lot of mixed feelings in the hearts of people especially in the times we live in where gender and gender equality issues are at their peak. Men believe their success is self-made while women don’t want to be overshadowed by the men in their lives. When we come to the account of creation however, and the history given to us through scripture, the mature will realize the place of power assigned and held by each gender for the purpose they are called for both in society and each other’s life and the revelation of the latter becomes the end of all strife.
He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.
He who ‘finds’, not gets, not falls in love, not attracted but finds; a ‘wife’ not a woman, not a girlfriend, not a best friend etc. The writer of proverbs is careful with his choice of words and it is imperative that as born again believers, we avoid falling into the errors of societal pressure and standards set by men trading the will and idea of God concerning marriage. A woman is supposed to be found, to be sought after, to be graciously pursued and honored by the spouse betrothing her. In Genesis, God takes Eve to Adam as the modern day symbol of a father taking his daughter to the aisle. What God wanted us to know is the order in which things are supposed to be done.
Our Father is supposed to lead us to our beloved and to the beloved, He is to help him find his wife. Today though, society has portrayed this precious and holy act that is a mystery that has never been fully understood by all men, to be a romantic hollywood act put together where anyone that instills eros love in your heart to be the momentarily perfect partner. In my previous article, I discussed the types of love and the driving force behind each one of them, and born again believers today desire not the way of God in this matter because it is not as fast nor conforming to the instant gratification we are growing into in this modern age.
Our theme scripture emphasizes that you find ‘a wife’. The ring on your finger is not what makes you a wife. The wedding ceremony where you are legally pronounced husband and wife is not what makes you a wife but the state of your heart previously groomed by Our Father in heaven who knows all things from before you were conceived is what qualifies you to be a wife. By the time a weaned and yielded soul is led to the altar by her Father, she is already a wife. Marriage is also a calling. The Bible tells us that some do not naturally possess that desire, the likes of Paul, others deliberately choose not to marry while others have purpose into marriage. Every marriage should be purposeful and all purpose has an impact. A marriage of a born again man and woman therefore should always propel you into purpose and stir every individual in the covenant into deeper service to the kingdom of God.
In the book of Esther, a story is given of one of the King’s princes with high ranking and honor in the palace, a man by the name of Haman. This man was promoted and honored by the king and he hated one of the gatekeepers of the king, Mordecai who was a Jew and the uncle of the queen, Esther. The king’s prince plots with his household to kill this Mordecai and because he did not wish it to be rage against one man, he plotted to exterminate the whole Jewish race in the area to punish this one man. He convinced the King to give this order, and Mordecai told the Queen, his niece, to do something about this order.
Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai: “Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.”
In the scripture above, The queen responds to her uncle’s request asking him and his people to fast and pray with her so that she may find favor in the eyes of the King when she makes the plea on behalf of her people. In the book of onwards, Paul tells us what man is in the household: ‘But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God’. Paul tells us that the man is the head of his household, and Christ is the head of the man. A woman that does not know how to speak to the master of her head, is not a wife, even if married. Now we know that God alone changes hearts, Queen Esther demonstrates this by asking her uncle and her people to fast with her, to pray to the master (Christ) of her head (her husband) that he may be able to change the heart of the latter before she presents her plea. It is amazing how the rest of the story unfolds whereby the king lacked sleep one night and he asked to be read for the archives of the kingdom and he realized one of his gatekeepers had not been rewarded for saving his life by giving crucial information to the king’s guards (). Early the same morning, the king asked Haman himself what he would do to reward a man that saved his life and Haman himself in his greed and pride planned Mordecai’s glorification without his knowledge. Esther and her people fasted and prayed and God fought their battle while they held their peace () and they walked in already victorious if you read the rest of the book for personal study.
A woman that knows how to speak to the master of her husband, knows how to reach the heart of her husband. A wife ought to know how to pray strategically, and with results else she has failed to reach the heart of her spouse. The husband that is fully submitted to his master likewise knows how to lead his wife. That is why a born again man or woman can never be yoked to a non-believer and it is God’s will, else He would not be true to His Word and we know His Word is always true. God sophisticatedly yet simply designed marriage to be an orderly institution that frames men into purpose, teaches the execution of Christ’s command to love as we have been loved in a more intimate and personal way and exercises this grace first towards another person
whom you have become one flesh with then others. It is therefore impossible to think that a non-believing partner can be entered into the covenant of marriage with and over time the believing partner changes them. That is not in our capacity but in God’s and the willingness of the non-believer is his/her personal business with the Lord. Let not the prince of this world lure you further from purpose over temporary enjoyment. If you have entered this union though, it is not God’s will to usher you into a divorce, but there is grace availed if you yield your heart and tether it to seeking God’s will about the continuation of your union, while patiently enduring the trials with your current partner.
If you have never given your life to Jesus Christ, and you feel that this is the perfect time, pray this prayer:
“Lord Jesus, I thank you because you died for my sins and you were raised for my glory. Today, I receive you as my Lord and Savior. I am born again. Amen.”
